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About Artisan Crafts / Hobbyist Official Beta Tester anchiOther/United States Group :iconnot-so-casual: Not-So-Casual
No casual clothes allowed!! xD
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:glomp: XD
Thu Mar 4, 2010, 1:52 PM
gjrkjf Yo!XD
Mon Feb 1, 2010, 6:40 PM
Sun Jan 24, 2010, 9:44 PM
Tue Oct 27, 2009, 8:50 PM
thanks. i didnt make it though.
Thu Sep 10, 2009, 2:52 PM



Playlist Confessions Meme

Mon Oct 20, 2014, 8:08 PM

Open your music player. Hit SHUFFLE>PLAY ALL. (You can do this with a playlist, too.)
For every song that comes up, you must reveal a confession, story, or secret of yours that you can associate to that song.
It can be the meaning of the song, the lyrics of the song, or the song itself. 
You ARE allowed to skip songs if they are irrelevant, but give the song a chance -- you added the song to your library for a reason, right?
Don't pause on each song. Let songs pass as you write your entries. when you finish, the next song that plays will be the next on your list.
The number of skips you make will equal the number of people you must tag.
Do this for 8 songs. 

1. Total Immortal - AFI : One of my first AFI songs. The whole dynamic of the song really represented my soul at the age of 14. It was the first music video I'd ever seen of AFI's, and I was enamored by how wonderful the band looked together. It made me want to start a band of my own, to have that kind of bond with someone. The music video kind of reflected how I felt about life.

2. Taking Over Me - Evanescence : What a wonderful song to represent my emotional disability. This song is the song that plays whenever I think of my adolescence with my imaginary friends. I took the song in a literal sense. I believed that my imaginary friends were lost souls that were hoping to be found, and that it was my goal to find them and bring them into existence. The deeper into the world I got, the more they were able to control me. 

3. I Am Trying Very Hard to Be Here - AFI : This song is a great reflection of all my failed relationships and how I view people. I always feel as if I'm doing so much for people and getting nothing in return. I look back on some instances, and realize that I saw myself in a lot of those people. And began wondering if they saw me within them, as well. I find that this song follows a relationship where the two people are seeing a lot of each other in the other person, and its bringing out frustrations through their own self struggles, and I think that happens to me a lot.

4. Black Balloon - Goo Goo Dolls : Oh dear. I almost don't want to post this here, but I will. To me, this song is what it's like to be someone with depression... holding hands with a person also battling depression. Similar to "I Am Trying Very Hard to Be Here," the song also seems to follow the pattern of two people finding themselves within each other. I think this song also speaks to me by saying that I frequently lose myself and my boundaries with other people. 

5. A Deep Slow Panic - AFI (LOL, sorry guys... they're my favorite band and they have like... 16 albums ^^; ) : This is one of AFI's most recent releases, and it came at a great time. This song definitely shows my issues with abandonment and panic disorder. This is actually a photo story I'm working on about my recent break up. I think pictures would better describe how this song makes me feel, but it's a very prominent song in my life right now.

6. Hold On - Good Charlotte : Welllllll uhhhh, this is kind of self explanatory. I've been suicidal my whole life. This song was there for me when no one else was, and in many instances is probably the reason why I'm still here. It stays with me to this day, and it still gets me through hard times. Feeling suicidal is not something everyone can relate to. Of course, everyone thinks from time to time, "Life would be easier if I were dead," but to sit there and let it stir... to look at all of your perscriptions and wonder how many of them it would take to end your own life, or to start coming up with different combinations to your dads gun locker... to really, REALLY sit and think about killing yourself... I find that I don't have anyone to talk to about that. To be honest, I thought I did. But I came to learn that the more you talk about it with someone, the more you scare people. And they get pushed away. So this song gives me strength. 

7. Blind - Face to Face : Ohh, an old favorite!!!! This song is how I feel about my parents and all the conflicts we've had. It tells the story of how I've always had to shut down my emotional outlets in order to fit in with the family. It was how I adapted to survive. (Of course, I'm paying for it now >.<)

8. Hello - Evanescence : Wow, my iTunes is quite gloomy :| Ummm... another song that kind of shows my angst I guess. I guess I could say that my efforts to get better and how they haven't worked kind of play through in this song. How, at the end of the day, the only person I really have to talk to is myself. And sometimes I feel as if my voice is just an echo that someone thinks they heard, but brushes off as an illusion.

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  • Listening to: Evanescence - Hello


DespairedPheonix's Profile Picture
Artist | Hobbyist | Artisan Crafts
United States
I haven't updated this in a while, so I'm going to update it now.

Hi. I'm Eli. Also known as AnchixDPx on other sites.

I'm androgynous.
Cosplayer (kinda)
Doll collector (most definitely)
Doll photographer (amateur.)
Writer (I like to think I'm pretty good at that)

I hate reading. I don't read books or comics. I love movies. Especially the ones based on books. I love super hero movies. I love Disney.

I listen to all kinds of music. My favorite band is AFI and has been since I was 14.


I think that's all for now. <3


Sea of Hydrogen by DespairedPheonix
Sea of Hydrogen
Okay I got the background off some science site.

Jupiter is not green or pink. It is orange. and red. Which made editing this picture. very frustrating.

I did a lot of reading up on Jupiter, both planet and myth, for these pictures. I really wanted this to look like I was rising from the sea, but ummm... yea idk what it looks like. Anyway. Bye!
Jupiter - Complete (back) by DespairedPheonix
Jupiter - Complete (back)
Okay, this looks much better on than it does on a hangar. But anyways, she's done! Just gotta take pictures now!!!!!


If I made a "profile page" for each of my dolls on dA, would you read them? 

5 deviants said yes
1 deviant said no
1 deviant said Wait, what?


Add a Comment:
Trevor911 Featured By Owner 19 hours ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Welcome to the :iconsmooniesunited: group! :D
(1 Reply)
LadyAshworth Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Thanks for the ADD to such an awesome folder of yours^^ You're so pretty in the Moon cosplay :3
(1 Reply)
MaryamDN Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2014  Hobbyist
thanks for the fav!Hug 
(1 Reply)
aloiVViola Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the watch!:happybounce: 
(1 Reply)
Sarqq Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2014  Hobbyist
damn why I'm not a watcher, I thought I am already :o I know, we have talked before many times.. ? O_O well.. here I am now :D
(1 Reply)
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